supermarket

You made me nervous, and I wasn't sure how to act. It had been so long, it was like being with you for the first time all over again. But we were rounding into the frozen food section of the supermarket when you made a joke, and then turned to me and kissed me quick, right on my lips. I stood in place, smiling, a little surprised, and relieved that you still wanted to kiss me.

la citta

My trip to New York was as perfect as I'd hoped it would be. I usually expect the worst since my luck is less than ideal, but everything was wonderful. Dane met me at Grand Central when I got off my train and stayed with me through the following day, which was my birthday. We went to Coney Island where I discovered I now get nauseous on rides, and we cooked dinner later that night after I'd gotten drinks with my best friend at Manchester Pub, my old place of work. I proudly flaunted my new red bag from Beacon's Closet and my Lena Dunham "birthday suit tee." On Thursday night, after eating too much sushi, we found a gorgeous spot in Brooklyn where we could see the tip of Manhattan. Exploring with Dane is my absolute favorite activity. 

Of course the week couldn't end without Dane and me discussing the inevitable: what we *are*. [My] tears flowed relentlessly, because really how could they not, but everything worked out as well as they possibly could given the situation. I can't imagine a life without Dane in it, and from I can tell, he feels the same about me. But that isn't always reason enough to stay in a legitimate relationship, because there are outside factors you can't control. I left New York, but even if I'd stayed I wouldn't have been happy there. Dane needs to find happiness for himself as well, so we're both on our own journeys. Thank goodness we can still talk and visit each other through it all. As devastated as I am that we're no longer exactly what I want to be, this is worlds better than cutting ties entirely. I do have fears and hesitations about our more friendly situation, but I can barely think about them let alone write them down. I have to keep them from plaguing my head so I don't go crazy. 

Coney Island.

Dane's apartment, one of my favorite places to be.

The view from Brooklyn Bridge Park.

Love note.