phone

the pain moved from the hollow of my chest to the pit of my stomach. anticipation and anxiety were replaced with a burning sadness of acceptance i could not shake. 
it was okay.
i had the moon and my own reeling mind, and they were all i needed. i was meant to feel forgotten, lost, only a fragment. 
it hurt, but it was meant to. 

fam

This past weekend I partook in my paternal family's annual reunion in Cape Cod, Mass. I try to get out of going any year I can, which is so ridiculous of me. I don't know why I dread a free summer vacation to the ocean, surrounded by family. I love my family, I really do, but I don't enjoy small talk with family members I only see here and there, or being in large groups of people. Family or not, large groups are not my cup of tea; they make me incredibly anxious and closed off. Add in the stress of job hunting and a boyfriend on the verge of possibly not being my boyfriend, and it's a burdensome weekend to say the least. I'm not helpfully distracted by other people–only specific best friends I know can cheer me up–and I would rather just figure my brain out in sorrowful solitude.

Here are some pretty Cape Cod photos from my morning bike rides with my father.

Woods Hole at about 7 am, so quiet and peaceful.

Oh my godddddd I love whales.

Father eating a sandwich.